OP, last year we decided to add a WDW vacation on a non-Disney year. We made a budget and shortened the trip to 5 nights. We have stayed on and offsite, but with kids it has always been onsite. I checked the Orlando Hotels and Resorts board. We wanted space, so we canceled our value room and for the same price booked Wyndham Bonnet Creek. 900 square feet, one bedroom unit with a large balcony, lazy rivers, themed pool, full kitchen and W/D for the same price as a value. Now we really love the onsite benefits, but found a car rental for under $200 (we would use Uber in the future) and just paid to park at Disney. We decided to make one day a resort day so only did 3 day park tickets. We used airlines points to fly down. It was a very reasonable vacation and we definitely felt it was a good value.
The resort is just outside CBR. It definitely was not in the Disney bubble, but we had a fabulous time--it's all about spending time with family. A one bedroom onsite, even renting points, was thousands more. We do want to stay on-site for our next trip (not sure when that will be). I cannot justify the cost for a larger unit onsite at this time, especially when we have other trips we like to take throughout the year. Perhaps consider lurking on the Orlando Hotels and Resorts board--folks over there have a wealth of information about how to get their Disney fix in ways that do not break the bank. It does not help with some of the other things you mentioned, of course.